Howdy! Grab a chair an’ a beer! Well, if yer readin’ this, it means that you get ta start a brand New Year, too, an’ that’s a good thing! Hope Christmas was great for all of ya, an’ I hope the New Year is yer best on record!

Wow! 2010 already… If I thought I’d live this long, I’d have taken better care of… Awww, who am I tryin’ ta kid? Life’s too short ta live it tiptoein’ around, not takin’ any chances. Reggie asked me what I wanted ta accomplish in 2010, an’ I told her I want to make it to 2011! Hell, I’m too old ta die young now, so why not come slidin’ up to the Pearly Gates sideways, screamin’, “Man! What a ride!”

I don’t know about you, but I stopped makin’ New Year’s resolutions when I was about 10 years old. I always had enough trouble not livin’ up to the expectations of friends an’ family without the added stress of not bein’ able to live up to my own! The only thing I’m really gonna try to accomplish this year is to not get busted on a D.I.P.S.H.I.T. charge. That’s Drunk In Public, Shouldn’t Have Instigated Trouble.

Fortunately, most of my other options for misbehavin’ are still on the table. Oh, by the way, speakin’ of trouble, have ya seen those toy guns that shoot the little plastic balls? My kid has one that looks like a Thompson. It slings those little balls out at 350 feet per second, an’ it’ll rip a soda can to shreds at 25 feet. Only problem was, it makes a “pop-pop-pop” noise, an’ the neighbors think yer shootin’ a machine gun with a silencer. Guess the freaked-out neighbor thing prompted my kid to send the thing home to the Boonies with me. It’s a great stress reliever for us big kids, an’ the damned things are sure fun ta shoot the place up with! Ya really need one of ’em. Ya know ya do!

Speakin’ of toys, Reggie an’ I went on a toy run that the Red & White put on, an’ had a great time as always. It’s amazin’ how even in these tough economic times, bikers always give till it hurts to make sure that kids have a good Christmas. It just goes to show ya that no matter how we’re portrayed on television an’ in the movies, our hearts are in the right spot when it comes to kids.

This was the first time in months that Reggie has been on her trike. Now, it’s three days later an’ she’s still payin’ for it with pain, but she knew that was gonna happen, an’ accepted it before we left. She hasn’t missed this run in years, an’ she was determined not to miss it this time, regardless of the pain afterward.

Hey! Have ya seen all the great deals on bikes an’ parts out there? Unless I miss my guess, this country is gonna bounce back before long, an’ kick Europe’s pompous ass financially like we always have, though maybe the price of things will never get back to the ridiculous levels they were at before this recession. That’s a good thing, though, for folks tryin’ to buy houses, cars, bikes, or whatever. I’ve been stockin’ up on parts lately, an’ after the New Year, I think I’ll start buyin’ a few wrecked bikes from the on-line salvage outfits to build. Most of ’em have just minor damage, an’ they’re dirt cheap! Good ol’ California always makes it as hard as possible to license a custom bike, but if ya bring one in as a used bike, it’s no problem to license it here, then ya just customize it to yer li’l heart’s content!

A lot of ya know that I love buildin’ hot rods, too. I think I’m gonna build me a new shop truck this spring. I have a brand new Chevy 383 stroker just waitin’ for somethin’ to ride around town in! (If anybody out there has a “yard art” rust-bucket ’29–’34 Ford pickup body they want to sell cheap or trade for more worthless junk, just e-mail me.)

Yeah… I’m still tinkerin’ with the new Shovelhead chop, I just have too much goin’ on right now to make any serious headway on it. After Christmas, I’ll get back on it with a vengeance, an’ get it on the road. I’ve been so busy since I retired from my 8–5 job, I don’t know how I ever found time to work, but that’s what’s keepin’ me young, I think. As long as I have my projects, an’ a little “tropical anesthetic,” from my friend Captain Morgan, I may just stay 25 years old forever! Now, if I can just get that old grey-bearded road dog outta my mirror in the mornin’, maybe I could see the real me!

Happy New Year, y’all!


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