In Roads #26

#26 In Roads-Freeway flirt

“Hey Cinderella, I think you lost your slipper.” Stuck in road construction, I’m contemplating lane sharing when a guy in a whoop-dee car rolls up next to me. “You lost something back there and I think it was a shoe,” he says. I shrug and tell him there’s nothing I can do about it now. He nods. Surveying the situation ahead of us, I determine traffic to be too congested with semis and motorhomes to be safe for splitting, so I sit.

“You from Arizona?” he thumbs at my plates. “You sure do have a lot of crap on that poor bike. Whaddya, moving?” he asks. I grin as we inch along. “You need a place to stay? I have a big bed and you could take me for a ride. We’d have a good time. I’ll show you the sights. Got a couple of biker friends, we could ride out to the river. You look like a fun gal, ya ever been skinny-dipping? I bet ya have.” I laugh at the goofiness as he takes a slug from his drink and offers it to me from out the car window.

“Here, you look hot. It’s Clamato with a little extra sumthin-sumthin’ in there for ya. It’ll make your ride really nice. It’s cold, go ahead.” Traffic starts moving as I shake my head and laugh at him. “Aw baby, don’t be like that, we’re just getting to know each other. Don’t leave me!” I hit second gear and just as quickly have to stop. He blocks traffic behind him to pull up next to me again.

“Wow, thought I was gonna lose ya. You know you want me. Stop playing hard to get baby.” He starts banging the steering wheel with his empty hand. “Listen, they’re even playing our song! See it’s a sign. We’re meant to be together.” He cranks up the radio and Born to be Wild is crackling from the beat up Toyota. The bumper is strapped up with an orange tie-down and the back window is plastic held on with different colors of duct tape. Mr. Wonderful flashes his best smile while serenading me at the top of his lungs. He’s missing two front teeth, has a scruffy beard and a grubby, sweat stained wife beater t-shirt. It’s 9 a.m. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.

“I’m in love with you. Seriously, I know we just met but gimme a chance. You’ll like me, I’ll be good to you. I never hit my women. I’m a nice guy and I’ll even wash your bike. Hey, I can cook,” he’s waving the juice bottle out the window at me again as he clutches at his heart with the other hand. The car behind him honks. He flips them off. “Can’t you see I’m busy here? I’m in love, surely you remember what that’s like, right f#*r? This is my lady here, we’re having a conversation!” I see a break and hit the throttle as he leans out of the car and screams “Don’t leave me Cinderella!! I love you!!” Needless to say, I didn’t get a picture of Prince Charming so I offer you an image of the Beast this morning, instead. I did meet others today, but this interaction was just too weird to not share.