#86 In Roads-Funny guy


There’s a group of guys who ride in from their various states in the Midwest to meet up once a year. I’m just meeting the clan for the first time. Struggling with that nasty shy thing I sit on the periphery and watch as they greet one another and get caught up on each other’s lives. The guy with the camera around his neck has a constant flow of chatter going on as he works his way down the line before he gets to me. Our conversation kicks off by him sharing that he had a liver transplant four years ago and he tells about his recent doctor’s appointment.

“Doc asks me how I’m doing and I tell him that just because I have the liver of an 18-year old, that doesn’t mean the rest of me is 18. I’m 67-years old and certain parts of me don’t respond like a kid anymore. The doc laughed and told me they have pills for that stuff and I tell him no way, those things scare me. Have you heard the side effects of that stuff?” he deadpans. “Doc told me that if I have a four-hour erection not to call him, just get another hooker. I ask what makes him think I’d do such a thing and he tells me that while I was under anesthesia in the operating room I talked a lot. I told him that next time he just needs to put tape over my mouth.” He laughs as he talks about his wife and son and being raised by great parents before he gets back to the transplant.

“They don’t let you know the details of the donor, but I’m pretty sure mine was female. Look at this,” he shoves his hands at me to display the array of rings and a bracelet. “I’m wearing jewelry now! I’ve never worn jewelry in my life,” he declares. I giggle as I suggest the real test might be if he starts buying a lot of shoes. “Oh yeah, that would be it, wouldn’t it? Gotta tell you though, I have started buying colored underwear now.” He shakes his head. His long red hair is tied in a ponytail. He adjusts his baseball cap as he starts showing pictures on his camera.

“Here, look at this. I hired a band for my son’s baby shower that I put on for them. It was coed and nobody had ever heard of such a thing but it turned out really well. We played games and everybody had a really good time. Here’s the cake. See, it’s made out of diapers but it looks like a cake. This gal made it, isn’t that great? My son was embarrassed at first ‘cause of all the attention but he got used to it.” Chuckling to myself as he shows images of the mommy-to-be and the decorations, I find it sweet that my new friend has such a tender side. It’s not often you see a biker from the Midwest bragging about the baby shower he put together. It dawns on me that there might be something to that whole female donor theory.


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